It’s come that time of the year when we argue about whether Die Hard is a Xmas movie and we have found the definitive argument to say that IT IS.
The debate seems a bit stale as we have not seen a truly original argument for years. That is the reason we wanted to take a scientific approach to the film envisioned as ‘Rambo in an office block’ and finally put an end to this discussion.
Die Hard is a holiday tradition because we still discuss whether it’s a holiday tradition
It is simple logic: There would be no reason to discuss whether Die Hard is a Christmas film if it wasn’t considered by millions of people to be one.
In this case, the very existence of this old times debate is proof enough of its christmassyness. We do not discuss whether, say, Sparta is a Christmas film because there are absolutely no grey lines indicating Sparta’s Christmassy inclinations. Maybe it’s the historical perspective, perhaps the sandals, I don’t know. Sparta is just very clearly NOT a Christmas movie. Contrary to Die Hard which is unequivocally a Christmas movie, as you will be surely convinced by the end of this scientific paper.
The writer says it is, therefore, it is – the studio also says it is, therefore, it is!
Numbers do not lie and neither do scriptwriters – well, sometimes they do, but you know what I mean.
Die Hard co-writer Steven E. de Souza spoke at the podcast Script Apart confirming that Die Hard is, without a doubt, a Christmas movie. In the podcast, Souza mentioned the studio’s stance, presented a chart and even read a poem satire as extra evidence.
Don’t look at me like that, this is a complex debate and I had to invoke the status and prestige of an expert otherwise, you wouldn’t trust me.
Die Hard happens entirely during Xmas and in a Xmas setting, whereas White Christmas doesn’t
Well, Die Hard happens entirely during Christmas, its setting is a Christmas party and it’s got four Christmas songs in comparison to a meagre two in White Christmas.
The more Christmas parties you have in a film, the more of a Christmas film said film will become. Put it simply, the more Christmas songs your film has, the more of a Christmas tradition your film is.
By that logic, surely Die Hard is even more of a Christmas movie than White Christmas. And let’s no longer fight about it.
Fewer deaths than White Christmas
Another old argument is that Die Hard is too violent to be a Xmas movie. Oh! For Christmas’ sake! It’s just a few shots here, a couple of explosions there, nothing you haven’t experienced in a walk on Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon.
In the podcast, Souza mentioned that White Christmas has a staggering total of 26,128 deaths (including the Battle of the Bulge) whereas Die Hard has only a meagre 23.
After being presented with all that evidence brought by the world’s biggest experts (precisely one), after you read through this acute interpretation of the data, we hope to settle this matter once and for all: Die Hard is a Christmas movie and that is a fact as certain as gravity, as definitive as the impending doom of natural resources and as evident as the failure of Die Hard 2.
Twelve terrorists. One cop. The odds are against John McClane and that’s just the way he likes it. But John McClane, once again, comes out as the Christmasest winner of all time.
If you want to be strong and powerful like John McClane, have a read at Morbius To Release In January – This Time For Real or 12 Times Movies That Used The Same Set in Different Films